When it happens, you don't understand. You don't where to look or who to tell. It's not that something actually happened. Not something you can point to. It's that some vital part of your energy has gone underground, and only you can feel it. Where is my spirit, you may call into the darkness.
In the tale of Demeter, Persephone is abducted to the underground. And Demeter does not understand. She is disoriented without her daughter, who has never been apart from her. She wanders the earth's surface, bereaved and searching. And everything in nature that she nurtures ceases to grow and goes into a period of dormancy, as her spirit withdraws. We call this a season of winter - and within, it can happen in any season.
In the myth, Persephone is the daughter of Demeter. But Persephone also represents the young spirit and creativity within the female psyche. Without warning, she is taken. And the clarity and life force she brings goes under a slumber spell. What is happening happens underground, in the deeper unseen stirrings of the soul. And often, it's a reinvestigation of personal meaning. In a metaphorical sense, this is a necessary phase in growth.
This is a cyclical moment that can happen in a woman's journey. Holding this awareness gives just enough breathing space. Embracing ourselves when we have these ebb moments is probably one of the deepest tests of self-love we face. I know, because Persephone has been away from me. I can only now feel her resurfacing.
If you have experienced this, you are not alone. Here are five ways I've led myself through an inner period of dormancy and deep rest.
1) I allowed it to happen.
I went with it, rather than fight against it. I allowed myself to sleep more than I usually do. I allowed myself to just be more than was comfortable. I stayed with myself.
I did not force myself to be more animated or active or social than I felt to be. I let some things slip. I let myself go quiet. I felt, allowed, accepted, and embraced who and where I was. Even if where I was felt "stuck" or as though I had "stopped."
2) I trusted the wisdom of my body.
I knew intuition could be guiding me. Though I may not understand it, I trusted my body was leading me.
While standing in my kitchen, I said aloud, "I am riding upon a journey of faith that only my mind is uncomfortable with. My soul is not questioning this moment. My heart's wisdom knows to rest into it. But my mind is in uncomfortable territory. This is simply a matter of perception."
3) I decided to see rest as recalibration.
Often the richest developments in our life come after a period of uncertainty. The ebb is a gift we are not meant to turn away from. It allows a deeper settling into self.
Embracing the chrysalis is not easy, and yet when we are inside, we must remember that what looks like nothing is everything. We are asked to go into a deeper relationship of trust within our own lives. And to shed our notions of conditional worth and value.
We can allow questions to resurface. Such as where in my life do I wish to recalibrate? What do I want, now? We may not get the answers yet, but if we live into the questions as Rilke puts it, then we will find they begin to slowly surface in their time.
4) I grounded myself in a few core things.
If I'm honest, what follows is as much observation as intention -
I am a very physical person, so I stayed physical. In addition to my strength training, I took up weight circuits as my teacher extended into this. While feeling like a weaker version of me, I was also building strength. It was easy to go to class and submit.
I began to devote myself to ONE thing I have put on the backburner. On many days, I set an alarm for 45 minutes and worked on editing a novel I wrote years ago, which I brought out of the drawer last year. I send an emoji to a friend every day I give it my attention. A mentor once called working on personal creative projects "saving love for yourself."
I embraced connection and showed up for others, too. In these times, I have been called on often to support others close to me with emotional, and sometimes physical, support. I have found nurturing those deep connections to be lifeblood, and showing up allows you to transcend the small self and remember the capacity you are.
5) I deepened my practice and learning.
I've been consistent in doing daily energetic meditative practices to stay in touch with my own frequency. I have practiced grounding to stay in touch with the energetic nurturance of the earth's electromagnetic field, and she may be slowing me to be more in balance with her rhythms. I also immersed into the learning that regenerates my soul and curiosity.
WHY do I share all of this with you?
Women tell me they experience full permission to show up exactly as they are in my spaces. And I can only give that to you because I give it to myself.
If you have felt an ebb in your spirit, you are not alone. Nothing needs to be fixed - it simply needs to be held, so that what is emerging within you can come forth in its own time and grace. I see you, and I love you.
Love,
Aimee
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