A common question is “Do any women come by themselves to the retreat?”
The answer is YES, over 95% do. What is the power of going SOLO to a women’s retreat?
1. Give your identity a break.
Last August, I observed one woman in our retreat decline typical questions like ‘what she did for a job’ in the social breaks outside of our circle. She was devoted to carving out this time as sacred space.
She gave herself the chance to meet herself, and be met by others, free of common social lenses. Instead, she protected the opportunity to be met, moment to moment, in her essence.
Only after the retreat, did I find out this wonderful woman also held retreats: on presence. What a gift to give yourself.
2. Leave behind existing social contracts.
As creatures of habit, we co-create blueprints with others. How we spend time together, the type of conversations we have, the habits we partake in, the roles we play, and the behaviors we reinforce all repeat.
It’s easy to go on automatic as the person who simply follows the patterns of these contracts. But what if you are changing? What if you can hear that your soul no longer resonates with some of the blueprints you’ve co-created?
Stepping away can be a strong way to bring habitual social dynamics into conscious awareness and increase choice. It can also reveal what dynamics you recreate no matter where you are (and give insight into why).
3. Discern from your energetic ecosystem.
We are influenced by energy, including from our social circle. "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” said Jim Rohn. Our beliefs, habits, mentality, values, ways to spend time and money, and sense of possibilities are impacted by what is normalized in our social circle.
But what if you are growing and you no longer resonate with some things? It’s not that they are wrong: just not what nurtures you now. But to self discern and risk your perceived belonging will feel scary. Giving space allows a moment to consider what you want for yourself, and to build up the courage muscle you need to engage authentically from your own aliveness.
4. Say anything.
You don’t owe anybody your story or your vulnerability. That goes in a women's circle, too.
Yet, if you wish to finally say things you might otherwise have never said, often women find a certain permission slip in being among relative “strangers” in a safe and confidential space, where what they express need not follow them home.
Many women have come to the circle to be witnessed outside of the reflection of
familiarity, so that they may also envision new possibilities. As Tristan Prettyman sings, “Here we are now. You can say anything.”
5. Discover new connections.
Because we often come to a women's retreat to have a different level of conversation, the intimacy of the circle has the ability to weave new and profound levels of connection. It also has the power to immerse you with women who are outside of your normal friend group. One way or another, you will not be alone.
Some women reunite for years after meeting in the circle or encounter an unexpected best friend. Or simply, should you reach a moment when you need it, there is a circle of women to call upon to remind you who you are and how you sounded when you dared your truth.
By: Aimee Hansen (creator of the Journey Into Sacred Expression Women's Retreat, next date on July 18-27, 2024).
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